Faith and the church should be a place of community, refuge, and spiritual growth. They are intended to be a beacon for safety and guidance.

But what happens when the place you turn to for nurturing becomes a source of pain? Maybe you’ve trusted church leaders who let you down or displayed toxic behavior. Perhaps you’ve experienced unexpected judgment when you needed compassion. Whatever the reason, a betrayal can shake you to your core because it hits on something deeply personal.

We’re living in a time where the world around us feels like constant chaos and turbulence. It’s in times like these that faith can be a source of strength, but also one of our biggest challenges.

Believers understand that forgiving is important and we’re going to do it, we just aren’t sure HOW it’s done, and what it looks like when we have done it.

Grief is a painful experience for everyone. It is shared regardless of age, gender, class, or race. Yet we allocate so little time to talking about it. This makes grief to be more than painful. It’s confusing, too. We’ve suffered a loss and, because the topic is somewhat taboo, the best we get from loved ones is platitudes. They mean well but only add to the puzzlement. 

A “toxic” relationship can exist between any two people. For this post, the focus is on a married couple. For that marriage to be toxic means, it contains insecurity, instability, controlling and abusive behaviors, and more. A toxic marriage brings out the worst in the partners; typically, one is victimized. 

Trust is a powerful foundation for any marriage. Without it, you can never feel true safety with one another. When trust is broken, rebuilding it is one of the biggest challenges any couple will ever face. Of course, each couple brings with them a unique set of characteristics and circumstances. For example, when two Christians get married, they may view their connection in some very specific ways.

When you took your wedding vows, you pledged your love to your husband. More than that, you and he shared your hearts and souls. Whether it was in your spoken vows or not, an underlying theme was always mutual respect. How then is it possible that he has betrayed you?

You may have seen yourself as someone who can handle stress. Plus, of course, you had your faith to call on. Then… the anxiety felt overwhelming.

A few weeks ago I heard that Luis Palau the evangelist had died after 3 years of battling lung cancer at the age of 86. The radio station I was listening to then played something that Luis had said. Luis was encouraging Christians to not ask “Why” but to ask “What”.

Mental health issues, and emotional issues are disorders, not an indication that something is terribly wrong with your soul, or your spiritual journey.

7 Ways to Evaluate if You’re in a Toxic Relationship:

I’ve been in practice for over 10 years and I hear from individuals who struggle with a particular person in their life. The conversation goes something like this: “Why does so and so try to control everything? I have to give an account of my every move. Even then he/she says terrible things, what do they get out of this?”  Or the conversation may sound like this “I’ve done everything I know to do and still I can’t seem to please this person. I try to do what my loved one (or boss or friend) says to do and nothing I do is right. They are never happy. They always complain about something, what am I missing?” Often it isn’t the person who is