As a Christian why see a therapist?
Perhaps you are a Christian and wondering if therapy is for you, or wondering if a therapist will give you advice that is contrary to the Bible. Do you find yourself are asking “Is therapy even something as a Christian I should entertain, much less actually do? What if my church says therapy is contrary to Christian values? Or I’ve been talking to my pastor, isn’t that good enough? I’ve been praying and praying and nothing has happened, is it time to see a counselor? If I need psychological help does it mean that I’m a bad Christian or I don’t trust God enough, or have enough faith?”
For many people, especially Christians, it can produce anxiety to even consider seeing a marriage and family therapist. There is a lot on the line; people often think “I’m a Christian. Shouldn’t I already be fine? I can’t have emotional problems; I just need to change my thinking.” So when you finally make the decision to see a therapist you want someone who will share your values; someone who will give you guidance that will be in harmony with your beliefs. This is especially important because in therapy you are emotionally vulnerable and you need to know you are safe, that you won’t be steered in the wrong direction. Working with a therapist who shares your values and won’t judge you for needing to work through emotional issues can be very healing on several levels.
Seeking help from a Christian therapist
As a Christian, it can be intimidating to go to someone who doesn’t hold your beliefs. In our society Christianity doesn’t have the same respect as it did even 20 years ago. I have people who seek me out because I am a Christian; they want to know that their experiences will be validated and that the emotional struggles they have as people of faith will not be used against them. The fear is that someone who doesn’t hold their values either won’t understand or will be hostile to their Christian faith.
We all want to know that while we are unique we aren’t unusual. Seeking therapy may be uncomfortable, but it isn’t unusual. Rather, it is a way to become emotionally and spiritually mature.
How is therapy with a Christian focus different from regular therapy?
Christian Counseling is also called Biblical Counseling, Faith-based Counseling or Christian Psychology. This way of counseling combines the Christian faith with the principles of psychology to better your mental health and improve your relationships. There are two ways of practicing Faith-based Counseling.
The first way is more direct by using the bible as a focus in counseling because you are interested in using scripture, prayer and discussions about God in our time together. The goal is to identify behaviors and thought patterns that are inconsistent with the bible. The work in session is to align your actions and attitudes with the teachings of the bible.
The second way of integrating faith with psychology, which is how I usually work, is that as a Christian who is a counselor I see people as valuable and worthy of care, and will work with you to grow as a human being. While I usually use general biblical principles that you can integrate into your life, we can talk about the specifics as they apply to your situation. My agenda is to help you grow strong in mind, body and soul. I believe that if you are emotionally healthy, you will be better able to mature spiritually
A Christian point of view can help you …
As a Christian I can educate you on what behaviors and attitudes may seem to be Christ-like but are not. For example I’ve heard of parents and spouses using the bible to manipulate and guilt trip their loved one who has come to see me. Family members may not like the changes they see because it requires something different from what they’ve been doing. They want the person to go back to the way they were, so they aren’t uncomfortable. Often a Christian’s ability to set proper boundaries becomes an intense inner struggle because it is not only uncomfortable to change but also friends and family members are telling them they are selfish and un-Christian. This can throw a person into deep doubt and shame about who they are and what they are trying to do. I can help you navigate that.
In our first session I will take you through a structured interview so I can find out about your life as a whole. Part of that will include questions about church as you grew up, and what your spiritual life looks like now. Toward the end of the session I’ll ask you about your goals. If you want spiritual input that’s a good time to say so. If you want to pray, let me know that as well. People have different ideas of how they want to integrate their faith into counseling, so let me know what is important to you.
I often work with my clients to become more present in the moment. Anxiety comes from worrying about the future and depression can come from reliving moments that we regret. By being present in the now it calms our fears and will allow you to be more aware of your thoughts and eventually calm your mind enough to be able to hear from God.
We know our world through our five senses. You will learn how to pay more attention to what you see, hear, taste, touch and smell. This process of slowing down helps you get in touch with what is going on emotionally and calm your mind. This is one of the strategies we will use to help you grow.
In my many years of counseling I’ve helped clients grow through their situation and become stronger in their faith.
What if I’m not a Christian, but my family wants me to see a Christian therapist?
If you’re not a Christian, I won’t push my faith on you. I have a strong sense of right and wrong and it would be wrong to insist that you believe what I believe. Jesus didn’t do that, He respected and accepted people. I will want to know what your values are and if you are acting according to the values you hold. If you aren’t, then we’ll work to align your behaviors to your values.
For instance, if you realize that you’re critical rather than kind and want to be kind, then together we will set a course for you to diminish your critical spirit and grow your ability to be kind. We will explore why being critical seems to be your default, whether there is some benefit to being critical and the specific thought patterns that need to be broken so that kindness will become easier for you.
I’ve already spoken to my pastor about this: why do I need to talk to a therapist?
We were made to live in community and our relationships with others can be bruising, even brutal. Sometimes we’re just stuck because what we’ve been doing isn’t getting the kind of responses we were hoping for. Maybe you’re anxious and you know that’s not good. Or, maybe you’re irritable and no matter how often you’ve prayed; stuff still ticks you off. Knowing the kind of person you should be is very different than actually working that out in day-to-day life. The bible tells us what the goal is, what our attitude and behavior should look like, but leaves the growing up to each of us, which is where I come in. I can help bridge that gap as a professional trained to look for the negative beliefs that are holding you back, and help you get to where you want to be.
How can therapy help me have a better relationship with Christ?
I have seen people grow in their relationship to Christ as their relationship to people has improved. It is easy to see how we develop and mature physically, nothing really stops that, and we know when someone has physical issues. We don’t have to grow emotionally to be physically mature. We can be smart and still not be emotionally mature. However, our spiritual maturity is deeply related to our emotional maturity: as we become more emotionally mature, we become more spiritually mature.
You can grow emotionally and spiritually
I have extensive experience in helping Christian clients in their therapy. My Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology is from a Christian university where faith was an important part of the coursework and my internships were both with Christian counseling centers.
I would be honored to help you. To set up a free 15 minute phone consultation please call 951-403-1495, or email me. I try to get back to all voicemails and email within 24 hours.
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