The holidays should be filled with happiness and magic. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or so the song says. But let’s be honest, as joyous as they are, they can feel very overwhelming.
Between family gatherings, gift shopping, holiday parties, and endless to-do lists, the vibe may feel more stressful than celebratory. As a couple, that stress can double down if you’re not on the same page with each other.
With the holidays approaching, you don’t have to accept the overload. By working together, you can reduce the pressure and give yourself the chance to enjoy the season more fully.
Recognize the Signs of Holiday Stress
The first step in successfully navigating the holiday overload is to recognize when it’s happening. Some common signs to watch for include:
Irritability or sudden mood swings over minor inconveniences
Exhaustion that goes beyond normal tiredness
Anxiety about upcoming events
Sleep troubles
Withdrawing from your partner
When you start to spot these behavioral patterns, it should be a signal for you to pause and listen to what your body is telling you.
Talk About Your Expectations Ahead of Time
One of the biggest sources of holiday conflict comes from the unspoken expectations that we have. In your mind, you have all the details worked out to spend Christmas Eve with your family. You assume your partner is on the same page, all the while they have been making other plans to spend the day with close friends.
Set aside time before the holiday season starts to discuss your priorities and expectations. Are there traditions you’d like to keep? Are there certain friends and family members with whom you want to schedule time to celebrate? Which invitations can you decline? What are the parameters for gift expenditures? Getting aligned early on will prevent certain arguments later on.
Create Boundaries Together
The pressure turns up during the holiday season, but you can’t say yes to everything. Trying to please everyone and be everywhere is a quick path to burnout.
Work with your partner to make decisions that align with your needs and serve your collective happiness. It’s okay to scale back on activities that drain you. When you establish and enforce boundaries together, it will be easier to maintain them with your loved ones. Repeat this as often as you need: saying no to some things means saying yes to your well-being.
Divide and Conquer
Holiday preparations should not be the responsibility of one person. Make a list of what you need to accomplish, from shopping to cooking to wrapping the presents. From there, you can divide responsibilities based on schedules and capabilities.
One of you can bake the desserts while the other goes grocery shopping for dinner. Perhaps one of you can coordinate with the family while the other handles the gifts. Working as a team maximizes efficiency and sets you up for success.
Leave Time for Rest and Bonding
Amid all the holiday hustle, it’s easy to let your needs go by the wayside. Schedule time to just be together. No stress, no agenda, just you two.
Watch a movie, take a walk, or enjoy a slow morning sipping on your coffee. Use these moments to deepen your connection and remind yourselves why you’re doing all of this in the first place.
Equally important is prioritizing rest. Packed schedules will start to take a toll real quick. If you’re not careful, you’ll find yourselves with short fuses aimed at each other. Protect your sleep and take downtime when you need it. It’s not selfish, it’s a necessity.
Get Support When Needed
If the holiday stress is consistently triggering your anxiety or causing problems in your relationship, professional support is available. Anxiety therapy during the holidays can give you the tools you need to start communicating with your partner more effectively. Especially as you come to individual therapy so you can talk to your partner better. At Claudia Bouslough Counseling, I’m here to support you. Schedule a consultation with me, and let’s talk.