Grief is a painful experience for everyone. It is shared regardless of age, gender, class, or race. Yet we allocate so little time to talking about it. This makes grief to be more than painful. It’s confusing, too. We’ve suffered a loss and, because the topic is somewhat taboo, the best we get from loved ones is platitudes. They mean well but only add to the puzzlement.
Perhaps the biggest source of confusion for many people involves questions about why God has allowed such sorrow and where is He in times like this. As the agony of bereavement dominates our lives, we may also feel guilt. After all, if our loved one is now with God, why are we sad?
You Can Grieve Without Losing Faith
Grief is a natural reaction. Just as we experience fear or joy or anxiety when an event happens, we grieve when a loss occurs. None of these automatic emotions are a statement about the depth of your faith. Someone you love is no longer directly in your life. Of course, you miss them. You can be happy for them — just a friend who moves to a better location — while still missing them.
The human mind and spirit are complex. We can juggle many perspectives at once. For example, we can mourn a loss and have faith in God at the same time. We understand the bigger plan but, at the moment, are saddened by a particular section of the journey.
Faith and grief can and do coexist. Thank God for that because faith is often the foundation that enables us to recover from a loss.
Not Everyone Understands Grief
It’s logical to expect to find comfort in your faith community. However, if they judge your grief as a loss of faith, you don’t need their permission to mourn. They have their viewpoint but you are free to find others who are willing to offer support by meeting you where you are in terms of mourning. You are under no obligation to allow anyone to minimize or invalidate the sadness you feel.
Connect with people of your faith wherever you can find them — in person or online. Take solace in sharing your experiences and finding strength in connecting with those who are also mourning. God has brought you into each other’s lives for the precise purpose of such mutual comfort.
God Understands Grief
In a time of loss, there can be a brief period of feeling distant from God. Just like a child who blames their parents when something goes wrong, our emotions can overwhelm us. Meanwhile, that child’s parents want nothing more than to offer reassurance.
Leave a little room in your heart for such a knee-jerk response. Then remember the promises God has made. All your wounds shall be healed and your strength renewed. Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. Your crooked places will made straight.
Also remember that Jesus grieved, too. He wept when Lazarus died. He wept enough for it to become a passage in the Gospel of John. Jesus knew Lazarus could go to heaven. He also knew that he would raise Lazarus from the dead. But he still wept. Therefore, he understands what you feel now and he very much wants you to heal.
Healing Within A Biblical Context
Therapy does not just address a single issue, e.g. anxiety, depression, or yes, grief. Any approach must be done with the understanding that our emotional well-being and spiritual maturity are linked. If you are grieving and desire a faith-based recovery, I invite you to reach out today for grief counseling. To read more about Christian Counseling click on the link.